Phillip's Blog

Don’t you just love our economics?

Yesterday while hosting a super bowl party, one of my guests (thanks, Paul) handed me an email containing an interesting explanation of the new president’s stimulus payment. While I cannot take credit for authorship – I don’t know who the original author is – I think it’s important to distribute this information because while it IS meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it also makes some interesting observations about what we have become as a nation, versus what we have been told (read: “sold”) by our new government. I present it here for your entertainment.

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers, whether they actually paid taxes or not.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From the taxpayers that did pay taxes.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase an HD TV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, or Guatemala (unless you specify home grown, organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan or South Korea.

If you purchase useless junk it will go to Taiwan or Malaysia.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to baseball games, spending it on beer (domestic only) or tattoos, since these seem to be the only businesses still left in the USA.